Gaddy’s red book

This crazy guy from Chennai sometimes calls me the resident fatso and at other times calls me a gadfly. Actually, I think he is paying me a compliment but you see my party isn’t pleased because there are too many competitors (yes, you guessed to it right; for the title of fatso and that of gadfly).

You see this man is Bangalore (I forget his name; yeah, BSY); he is turning out to be bulkier than what he looks. He told me he will listen to me, but now he is refusing to budge from his seat. This, despite the collective push of all of; that is myself, Arunji Jaitleyji, Sushmaji Swarajji, Rajnathji Singhji, Venkaiahji Naiduji and of-course our tallest leader, Lalji Kishanji Advaniji.If he can resist that weight he should be bulky, bulk, bulk.

Actually I think the problem was compounded by our two national spokespersons. Our Raviji “Manmohan-where-you-sleeping-on-th-job” Shankarji Prasadji said that the parliamentary board had decided to effect a change in leadership in Karnataka. Why could he not have simply said, "We have asked BSY to quit"? Now BSY is taking the stand that leadership change does not refer to him. The pitch was further queered by that very photogenic Nirmalaji who said that BSY had built Karnataka BJP from scratch, that he was a mass leader blah...blah...blah. I don’t know which side of the bread she butters.

Oh, oh in case you are wondering whose red book you are reading, it’s me, Niinji Gadkariji.

I wanted to teach BSY a lesson. Last time around he blackmailed us into submission. Now don’t ask me why we succumbed to his blackmail and what were we scared of. This time he is not directly, but indirectly blackmailing us. You see, he is a money bag and we need money to fight politics. The party in governance at the Centre has cartloads of money with it. These have been stashed in a foreign bank. But we lead a life of austerity, like the Left. We have two rotis for breakfast, and two for dinner with an orange juice for lunch.

For all those who say we have acted late, let me remind you we acted within 24 hours of the report coming out. This, despite the fact that the report was tainted because it was leaked. This despite the Lok Ayukta’s phones being tapped. This despite the personal meets that some people had with him on behalf of the accused. This despite the fact that the report did not hear out the accused and is so bad in law. This despite....

BTW if BSY refuses to budge we will go to the Governor. Hey, who said majority is decided on the floor of the House. It is decided by the Governor based on what we say.

(As imagined by Pattabhi Ram)